This was too good to not share: Todd Shell, head coach of the Rattlers, our local Arena Football League team, and a two-time Super Bowl winner with the 49ers in the 1980s, was found with cocaine, according to this story. Shell was “shirtless and sweating profusely when an officer found him pacing around his Land Cruiser about 1 a.m.” on early Tuesday.
Wait, it gets better. He then told an officer he kept looking north. When officers asked why, Shell told them he was alone but said a “guy wearing camouflage is in the tree.” Cocaine? I’m thinking LSD, maybe.
After first denying the cocaine belonged to him, Shell fessed up to having an “eight ball.” Then he said he’d used cocaine ONLY three times. What can he say? The AFL is a pressure cooker.
In other news, you will be seeing posts very soon from my friend Royce; we’ll call him a contributing editor. His tastes are eclectic and he also was at the recent Sufjan Stevens show in Tempe, so I know about 99.6 percent of you will approve. (On that note, he was teased ruthlessly by a co-worker for wearing his Illinoise shirt to work the day after the show.) I do reckon Royce is cooking up something mighty special for his debut.
And I officially prostituted myself out to MySpace. Go here and make me your friend. Please. There’s even a little picture there, in case you wondered what the underside of my chin looks like.